Today was a good day, I suppose. So many things always on my mind. Those old ghosts that linger around and poke around at the most inopportune times...you know, casting shadows on the brightest of days. I often wonder if I should worry this much. If it's normal. Am I simply like everyone else, full of worry and fret, constantly taking away God's glory by wallowing in worry. Stealing little bits of happiness from each and every day, one nickel and dime at a time before one day you reach in your pocket and you got nothing left?
There's so much to explain to make anyone understand, that it's never worth it. It's never worth all that emotion just to have someone NOT understand once you get it all out. But that's just it, I've never got it all out, never. That's my biggest problem; there's so much to get out, and so little time. It's so exhausting to even think about talking about all of it, even writing it down, that I turn away from it almost immediately. There's so many things I know for sure, but there's always those lingering doubts that were planted so long ago as tiny little seeds, but all the days and years that have passed, all the rain, and all the sun, have grown them into great trees of doubt, casting shadow on every part of my life.
I have grown into a person with few real wants and needs. I want to be loved. I need to be loved. I want to be respected and trusted. I want to be needed and important to just a few people. I want to leave a mark on something that will last, preferrably my children and those around me that I care deeply for in so many ways. I want to make a lasting impression, much like a heart scribbled in steamy glass, that will never fade away...dewy and sweet, simply, yet well stated.

:) Dream on...